Yesterday, I stated in my post that “I love my guild,” and I have to tell you that I wasn’t just waxing poetic. I love this guild. I have been a part of many guilds in the past. I loved RD because they were the first and they were all great people, some of whom I have met IRL and continue to be friends with today. I loved Kohrruption, since most of my favorite cousins were in the guild, along with their friends who became my friends, and even some people we picked up along the way who are also great people. I loved being in the Sidhe Devils while it lasted. There were many friendships from the blogosphere, and many more made while I was in that guild. It was unfortunate what happened there. But this guild… Undying Resolution of the Elune server, is possibly the best guild I have ever been a part of.

In my time with UR, I’ve been a raider from the start. Raiding with this guild has gotten me some of the highest achievements I’ve ever had when compared to what was available at the time. With this guild, I killed the Lich King. With this guild, I killed Nefarian and Onyxia. With this guild, I killed Ragnaros. As long as I have been with this guild, I have killed the big bad boss of the day. I had never done so in any guild before. I hadn’t really even come close before. And while those are achievements unto themselves, they are not the reason I love this guild. I love this guild because of the people. I have raided with a great group of people who are always there, and always upbeat, and always ready to kick some butt. They’ve been great people to raid with, and I’ve loved my raiding career with them. Last night, a few days after I officially ended that raiding career, I logged onto the guild forums to find a post from our GM.

The post he made on the forums was to announce a new honorary guild rank for retired Raiders and Officers. In this post he made it clear that only the best and brightest among us would attain this rank. Many have come and gone, but few attain this rank. Two legends of the past were awarded this rank posthumously, and two current members have also been awarded this honorary rank. One of our founding officers, a man who helped shape the guild into what it is, with his leadership and tireless duty and his constant struggle to be the very best he could be.

The other? Well, that be me.

Renegade – Maerdred who, as a founding member of U.R., has raided consistently with us ever since. In U.R.’s early days, Maerdred’s feedback helped to directly shape the policies and goals of U.R. Maerdred also proved that some druids really can be great tank healers. We’ll miss you greatly and thank you for all that you have done along the way, we wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.

These may be simple words to most. They may not even confer any emotion at all. To me, this is one of the most fitting tributes I could receive. As a person who constantly questions his own self worth, and who constantly worries about what others think of him, to finally know what my guild thinks of me, without question… It was powerful. After having spent the past year+ wondering if I was good enough, or if I was just a placeholder in raids, it was powerful stuff.

I read this and I think back on what it all means. I remember the conversations I had with Ranico about leadership and I remember giving him advice, which apparently stuck with him. I remember fighting for respect as a tank healer, and outperforming some of our former Holy Paladins to retain the job (I really detested the concept of raid healing; it felt like being sent to stand at the back of the bus).

It’s always been a point of contention with me when people say Druids can’t tank heal. Tank healing has defined me. My personal mission at every raid is to keep that tank alive. My singular goal has always been to be the best I can at that one aspect of the game, and I appreciate that it’s been recognized. I appreciate that I was able to prove myself when we didn’t really have many other tank healers, and that I was able to keep the job once we got some.

I love this guild because it’s obvious that the people of the guild are real people who honestly do appreciate the others surrounding them within the game. This guild is not made of anonymous drones who can be replaced on a whim. It’s a guild full of people who I am glad to call my friends.

Thanks, UR for honoring me with the title of Crusader. It means more than you know.

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The other day I made a decision. It was a decision that was a long time coming, and I’m sure some people weren’t very surprised by it. If you follow me on Twitter, you already know, I gave up raiding with my guild. I did not give up the game. I did not leave the guild. I just gave up raiding.

I’ve given up raiding before. I did so in TBC so I could level a brand new character and then started raiding with him. I did so again in Wrath because I was sick of raiding guilds falling apart underneath me. This time, It’s for a different reason, though very similar. Burnout. I’ve been raiding with the same group of people for 2 years at this point. We’ve been in our current guild for just over a year, and we have fun. I raid 25′s 2 nights a week, and that’s pretty much all I play. I Don’t log on for 10′s on Sundays most often. I don’t log in daily to cap VP. I never even finished Therazane Rep, or Firelands content. I have been skating along under the radar, and I felt that it was unfair to the guild to keep it up.

If I’m not raiding, they don’t have to support me. They don’t have to pay for my repairs and my enchants and all those other things. If I’m not raiding, I can be questing and farming and putting more into the guild that I’ve been taking. I can also do this on my time. I can log in and do 3 Daily quests before Beth gets home, and then log for the rest of the night and actually live with the girl I live with. I can log in on Sunday when she’s at work and I can farm herbs for 4 hours to restock the guild bank for the raiders. I can finally finish some of the questlines I’ve skipped out on. I can just play the game the way I like to play the game.

Will I miss raiding? Yes. Will I go back to it in the future? Who knows. Over the past month I’ve spent more time being sick than I have spent raiding. Over the next month, I expect to spend more time out with family than I will spend in any game. After the holidays are over, SWTOR will be here, and I’m sure that’ll be taking up a large chunk of time. Do I see myself back raiding any time soon? No. Is it possible in the future? Yes.

I love my Guild. I love my Druid. I love my Family. Which do I love more? That much should be obvious. World of Warcraft can wait, I have a family.

What does this mean for the Blog? I’m not sure. In a perfect world, I’ll be able to spend some of the time I had spent raiding, coming up with blog posts instead. Do I see this happening? Honestly, no. Do I want to write interesting topics for people to read? Yes I do. Do I have the time to do so? Not really. I’ll do my best. I feel I’ve neglected this blog far too long. I’d love to come back to it more often. If you want to read more from me, go ahead and comment. If nobody comments I don’t have incentive to write more.

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